


Deaths Kiss

by SugawarasKisses



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Funeral, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Sad Tanaka, speech
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:33:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25310176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugawarasKisses/pseuds/SugawarasKisses
Summary: Nothing lasts forever. We gain friends and lose them. We fall in and out of love. We watch people grow and develop.Tanaka thought he could be special when it came to Ennoshita. But the ugly poison of Depression and self hatred tore all hope away.At Ennoshita's funeral, Tanaka was asked to speak. So the words he spoke were those of pain.
Relationships: Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Deaths Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> This is sorta different to how I usually format my stuff so please do bear with. also anything in italics is what Tanaka is saying (incase it's not clear)

_ Maybe it was those eyes. The same eyes that reflected pain and heartbreak. The same eyes that had seen horrors no human should’ve ever encountered. Or was it those lips. The lips that allowed poison and toxins fall from. The same lips that were so smooth, enchanting anyone who had been kissed by them. Could it have been that voice. The voice that was laced with joy, with life. The same voice that hides terrors and cries. _

**What was it? What was it that captivated the sight over everyone upon laying their eyes on you? What was it that made the room stop in awe?**

_ Maybe it was the way you walked. The way your feet carried you with pride. The way you hid your pain through false confidence. Maybe it was the way you chose your words. The way they sounded so thought out. The same words that masked nightmares no man dared to speak of. Or was it the way you dressed. The way you chose the right clothes, radiating the idea of money. The same clothes that hid the many secrets you kept locked up tight. _

**What was it? What was it that made all eyes turn to you? What was it that convinced God to send an angel like you?**

_ Maybe it was the way you said ‘I’m fine.’ The way the words fell so effortlessly from your lips. The way the words masked a life of pain. It could’ve been the way you smelled. The strong cologne that made you stand out. The same scent that masked the disgust of alcohol and tobacco. Or, maybe it was the way you made yourself known only to those you trusted. The way you stuck to your friends and stayed loyal. The way you kept to yourself in hope you could never be hurt again. _

**What was it? What was it that made you try so hard? What was it that you tried so desperately hard to hide from this cruel world?**

Tears and sobs echoed through the holy grounds as the shaved headed male finished the first part to his speech. Not a single person who sat could contain the sadness that rided their fragile bodies. No person escaped the kiss of mourning placed upon them.

_ You were promised the world. I promised you the perfect life. The words fell from my lips so easily. I wanted you to believe me. Why didn’t you? Why are we now here, crying as I expose our relationship to your guests? You took my loud, wild attitude and learnt to tame it. You found a way to ride the wave that was about to capsize your ship. How did you do it? _

**How did you do it? How did you take a personality like mine and learn to love it? How did you learn to deal with a wild animal like myself?**

_ You were promised a life where your smile was real. I promised you I would keep that smile on your face. Each word I spoke I wanted to stand by it. I wanted you to hear my words and have that smile light up any room. Why didn’t you? Why is it that we are now here, your smile completely wiped from the world? Your face now varnished to hold a frown that reads pains and unhappiness. Did you ever smile because you were happy? You found a way to master the art of forcing such a beautiful smile that anyone could believe. How did you do it? _

**How did you do it? How did you convince me and the world you were happy? How did you learn to fake such beauty?**

_ You were promised a happily ever after. I promised you a life where I could give you everything. The words I spoke were ones I wished for you to believe. Why didn’t you? Why am I crying as I remember our life together? You deserved a life where you were happy and loved. You made me believe we were going to have our own happily ever after. How did you do it? _

**How did you do it? How did you make me believe we would have a happily ever after? How did you learn to lie through your teeth?**

The male speaking had, previously, been reading from paper. But that was long gone. The words the male was speaking were raw emotions that he needed out. Raw questions he was no longer able to have answered. Any person in the room could sense the broken heart that resided in the speaker's voice. This was his moment. His personal time to mourn and show how hurt he was.

_ Some people don't get to choose when they leave. Some are taken too early from this world, against their will. Some people are taken too late. They endure so much suffering to then be taken when they finally reach the valley of joy. But you. You chose when you were leaving. Did you stop to think how your friends would feel? How I would feel? Did you try to hold on? Was this out of spite? Why did you let go and lose the battle that I could've helped you win? _

**Why couldn’t you? Why couldn’t you hold on just that little while longer? Why couldn’t you let the world decide when it was your time?**

_ Some people get to say ‘goodbye’. Some people get to look their lovers in the eye one final time, whispering a soft and sorrowful goodbye. Some people are left to never say goodbye. They try so hard to make it in time to say the painful word; one they wish to never say. But you. You chose to let me believe I would speak to you again. Did you know the last time we spoke would’ve been our last? Or was this an impulse decision? Did you just want me to believe our ‘goodbye’ would be years to come? Did you do this because you thought it would hurt less? Why did you let me believe our last goodbye wouldn’t be till many years to come? _

**Why couldn’t you? Why couldn’t you let me say goodbye? Why couldn’t you let me hear you voice one more time?**

_ Some people try to outrun death’s kiss.Some succeed in using every drop of their energy to outrun the tainted kiss placed upon them. Some people don’t. They can’t take the pain in running, letting the sweet kiss taint them. But you. You didn’t outrun it. Did you try to outrun it? Or did you just stand and allow the cold kiss to take you? Did you enjoy it? Was this to gain happiness? Why did you let such a toxic kiss take you away from me? _

**Why couldn’t you? Why couldn’t you accept an angel's kiss instead? Why couldn’t you deny such a vile kiss?**

Pain was a toxic emotion. The way people reacted to it was never predictable. A single emotion drove people to the brink of insanity. Everyone felt pain at some point in their life. Some felt it too much. Others had grown used to the sickening emotion. But at this moment. At this specific moment, a bald male was feeling pain that had mixed with the beauty of sorrow and the deathly touch of grief.

_ Ennoshita. I speak to you as if your guests weren’t here. We were supposed to get married one day. We were supposed to grow old and enjoy each other's company. We were to adopt a few pets. You always loved a golden retriever. The way they shined in the sun. They were your favourite. But you were my favourite thing. You were my purpose. I was never good with words, but you taught me to let my emotions out.  _

**Ennoshita, are you happy? Are you finally living in a paradise? Are you enjoying your new found happiness, that doesn’t include me?**

_ I can remember the day you barely whispered the words. The three words that made me rethink almost everything. ‘I Like You’. You couldn’t say love. It was too much for you. So you used the next best word. A word I would happily accept from your lips. The way the words blended with the wind; carrying such a sing to my ears. It was beautiful. And so were you. God, you were the definition of beauty. No model could compete. _

**Ennoshita, are you being loved? Are you feeling my love from where you are? Are you still loving me from beyond the grave?**

_ I’ve asked many questions through your funeral speech, yet not really delved into what our relationship was like. But why should I? It was our private relationship. You were exposed to the world in ways you shouldn’t have been, this is me giving you a chance to have the privacy you deserve. But, it’s also me protecting the special moments we had. The moments I look will look back to and think, ‘I wish you were here’. I wish you were here, and not in a box where I can still see your face. The beauty never left you. It never will. You will always be MY Ennoshita. The man I loved so deeply, you changed me. For the better. _

**Ennoshita, are you at peace? Are you able to smile now, without feeling pain? Are you finally at rest?**

Tanaka was close to ending his speech. The boy could go on. He could go for hours and hours, speaking about the man he loved. Each and every person who was attending Chikara Ennoshita’s funeral was feeling the same pain that Tanaka was. Except, the fragile man that stood, front of the church, was consumed by grief. His heart had been ripped from his body, being torn and stabbed. No mercy was shown upon him as he watched his lover die.

_ I may never understand why you took your own life. I may never understand the true pain you went through in life. But I can tell you this. I will never stop loving you. I will never forget the way you made me smile when you were alive. Each and every day made me want to be alive. I just wish you were. I wish you were here, so I wouldn’t be standing here. So I wouldn’t be crying in front of everyone. So I could wake up tomorrow to feel you in my arms as I tell you, for the nth time, I Love You. _

His final words hung in the air. It was true. He did love Ennoshita. He would always love Ennoshita. Tanaka wasn’t ready to say goodbye. No one was ready to say goodbye to the beautiful boy who suffered in silence. 

They say a guardian angel is someone who already is an angel. Someone who was sent from heaven to guide us down the path of light. But Tanaka’s was a human. His name was Chikara Ennoshita, a human that was now among the other angels, flying high. Tanaka could only hope that Ennosita would continue to look over him. He would see him one day- but, until then, all the bald male could do was hold their memories close to him. Never forgetting anything about the man he loves. 

  
  
  



End file.
